She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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