The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
