is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
