If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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