Moan for me like Helen Keller
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't deserve a penis
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
