i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
