Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
