ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
