he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize