people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
