So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize