i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
