I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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