North Korea, Best Korea!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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