I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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