That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
