do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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