Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
