you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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