He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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