Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
