At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize