Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Enjoy the penises
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
