I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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