oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
