Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize