if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
