You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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