let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
