you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
