Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
