Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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