I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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