I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
