Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
