Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
