dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
