Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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