i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
