i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
