Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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