Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize