capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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