Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
