The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
