the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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