I wish i was in the wii world.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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