Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we're so committed to being not committed
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
