What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
