im drinking this country out of the recession.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
