I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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