just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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