PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
