I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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