You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
