remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
