why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
