Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize