a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
