I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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