if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
